I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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