Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
