My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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