3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He did a backflip because drugs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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