My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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