Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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