i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
