i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
