the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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