I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
