I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
