I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
