i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
