he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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