i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
