Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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