he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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