no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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