This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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