A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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