so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
