I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I could make wine with my vomit
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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