My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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