whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
