OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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