i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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