Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
being pregnant is like rehab
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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