somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
