I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life