it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
