he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
