Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
