Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
