I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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