are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
