I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pappa wants mamma naked
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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