you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize