Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
