stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize