just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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