When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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