You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
