Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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