Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
