i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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