Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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