Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
