I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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