easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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