so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
