margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
