And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Buhtt sex?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm both gender and math confused
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
