A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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