She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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