So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
