So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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