shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want to fling myself into the sun
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
